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Writing in english again i guess….sometimes my thoughts flow much more easier in english, don´t really know why…

I started thinking about fathers today…well, fathers because im having trouble with mine right now, but parents in general I believe…

I know nobody is born knowing how to be a parent, but some things you just know are wrong. You know your are not supposed to say certain hurtful things, you know you have to be careful with what you do, you try not to hurt people along the way with your actions, so why not do the same with your kids? Is it that you parents think your child´s love is uncondicional? Do you think we will forgive everything because we are your sons/daughters?

What makes me wonder the most are those who put their second wife/husband before their kids (Clearly as you probably noticed, that is my main issue). My question is…does a woman/man make you forget about them? How is it that you partner´s kids start to be more important that your own? I think this is a question for men more than for women, given that women usually live with their own children and men usually dont after a divorce.

Do you fathers know that you have to take care of your relationship with your kids? Do you realize that you can´t expect them to make you part of their lifes if you don´t do the same. I know love makes you stupid and blind, but stick up for your kids. Don´t let your partner treat them bad. I know what im talking about.

In my experience, having a father that puts her before everything and that does everything she says has only brought trouble to our relationship. She manipulates him, or at least that´s how I see it. He does everything she says and wants, and lets her say anything she wants to me, always quiet. I have dealt with it for quite a while now, from time to time i get really tired and upset and we get into a huge fight, but I usually don´t say anything. I know I am partly to blame in this situation…but I hate fighting, I hate conflict, so I just choose to shut up and laugh at her ironic jokes about me. I smile, I always smile.

I wonder…do you guys forget how much you dreamt about this child that today is hurt because of your actions? Do you forget this child needs your love and care, no matter how old he/she is?

I hope some of this makes you think. I believe no one is indispensable, and your kids might choose to cut you out of their lives if they get really hurt (and I don´t mean physically but emotionally) and sometimes there is no going back.

Personally, I have been trying not to shut him out, but it gets harder everytime, ´cause if I have to choose…I want to be happy, I want people who care about me in my life, I want people who don´t make me cry…

A song about this, “Daughters” by John Mayer, great song with a lot to say…

So parents, what are you going to do?

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